Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hm...

I just feel disgusting
What I did
Compromising
Potentially, at least
My professional status
Because of desire

a desire warped
because of desperation

I'm so stupid
And she wasn't even the cutest one
And you could have been smoother to prevent any big problems

But you didn't
And now you feel like a jerk

A trip abroad...

You know what they say:
When in....

I'll let you insert the city name.

Had quite a wild ride with a person of foreign parentage
It was drunken
Fun
Sexy

and also icky and weird and potentially compromising

I have to learn to be more, ahem, judicious in my decisions

But when you're drunk...

Well, you know.

I spent the whole flight there preparing to let her know how I feel
knowing how much of a game changer it would be
thinking about all of my disgusting options
and how much it would change my life

but i'll have to
at some point
won't I?

I've been reading a number of religious texts recently
and really lamenting how I've deviated from a more spiritual path in my life
particularly centered around this
and how I think the, or at least, my universe, is really being affected by it
my karma, if you will
and how
the first step to really healing all of this
and getting back onto a purer path
is really letting the truth out

the truth always prevails, doesn't it?

I mean, at some point at least?